Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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