69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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