If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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