I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
