Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
