If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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