dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
