your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
