chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
