Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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