Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
