I want to walk on stilts...naked
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
