Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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