Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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