i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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