I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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