I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
