"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize