he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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