At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
