I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
