I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize