We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
