You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
