i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
