fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
