Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
