He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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