you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
