I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
