He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
