Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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