apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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