I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize