I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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