margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
