So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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