A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
