Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
