Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize