you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
