Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
