nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize