He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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