and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
