you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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