Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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