Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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