What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
