dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize