How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
