I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
