porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
