Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
