dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
