and she was petting her beer can
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
