i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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