Swine flu is the new snow day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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