The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
