apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
