My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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