I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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