All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
