Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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