Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
